Cracker2 The Band

Lets have a laugh !!


The next time you're having a bad day, imagine this;

You're a siamese twin...............your brother, attached to your shoulder...is gay....you're not !! & he's got a date coming over that night......and.......

You share the same arsehole !!!

A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father. She stands next to the barbers chair, eating a cake while her dad gets his haircut. The barber smiles at her and says, "Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your muffin." "I know," she replies. "I'm gonna get tits too."

Sonia: "When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden."
Mick: "It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles."
Sonia: "Well, that's because we aren't married yet."

LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD was walking through the woods when suddenly the Big
Bad Wolf jumped out from behind a tree and, holding a sword to her
throat, said, "Red, I'm going to screw your brains out!"
To that, Little Red Riding Hood calmly reached into her picnic basket and
pulled out a .44 magnum and pointed it at him and
said, "No, you're not.

You're going to eat me, just like it says in the book."

Zoe : "Do you want dinner?" 
Ian : "Sure! What are my choices?" 
Zoe : "Yes and no."

MICKEY MOUSE and MINNIE MOUSE were in divorce court and the judge said to
Mickey, "You say here that your wife is crazy."

Mickey replied, "I didn't say she was crazy, I said she's fucking Goofy."

Tej: "What are you doing?" 
Derek : "Nothing." 
Tej : "Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour." 
Derek : "I was looking for the expiration date."